The quality of your life ultimately depends on the quality of your relationships.

Esther Perel

In the field of psychotherapy and – more specifically – couple therapy there are very few cult figures.

Esther Perel is definitely one of the few up there: a true rockstar! 

With two major best sellers, an extremely successful podcast (Audible’s Where Should We Begin?), a great blog and two very influential Ted Talks, Perel is one of the few clinicians who manages to bring her therapeutic insight to the larger world, writing and talking in ways that are both innovative and original as well as genuinely helpful to everyone interested in how relationships work.

Esther – her name is pronounced Astair – was born in Belgium, speaks nine languages, and has never ceased to amaze me. By drawing not just on psychology but on art, dance, sociology, linguistics and a million other fountains of inspiration, she has broadened the horizon of the therapeutic field immensely.

I have been following her work for the past 20 years and I was fortunate enough to take part in her online clinical supervision.  Always challenging and never allowing simple answers to existential questions, she has taught and talked and written and argued and presented all over the world, “embracing ambiguity” and giving us fierce, sexy, clever and endlessly inspiring ideas to understanding Love and the complexity of Eros.

Anything I can do that will embrace ambiguity in the complicated lives we lead, I will feel I have done some good in the world.

Esther Perel in The Nex York Times, 26 Jnauary 2014

So if you’re looking for inspirations, I highly recommend her books, her blog, her workshop, her talks and her podcast.

Esther is blogging on

Esther’s books are: Mating in captivity: unlocking erotic intelligence and The state of affairs

This is the workshop Rekindling Desire that Perel has been teaching for many years:

Here, you can listen to her Podcast

And here, to her TED Talks: